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WHAT'S YOUR SIGN
ARIES
You are the pioneer type and hold most people in contempt. You are
quick-tempered, impatient, and scornful of advice. You are not very
nice.
TAURUS
You are practical and persistent. You have a dogged determination and
work like hell. Most people think you are stubborn and bull-headed.
Taurus people have BO.
GEMINI
You are a quick and intellectual thinker. People like you because you
are bisexual. However, you are inclined to expect too much for too
little. This means you are cheap.
CANCER
You are sympathetic and understanding to other people's problems. They
think you are a sucker. You are always putting things off. That's why
you'll never make anything of yourself. Most Welfare recipients are
Cancer people.
LEO
You consider yourself a born leader. Others think you are pushy. Most
Leo people are bullies. You are vain and dislike honest criticism.
Your arrogance is disgusting. Leo people are thieves.
VIRGO
You are the logical type and hate disorder. This nit-picking is
sickening to your friends. You are cold and unemotional and sometimes
fall asleep while making love. Virgos make good bus drivers.
LIBRA
You are the artistic type and have a difficult time with reality. If you
are male, you are probably gay. Chances for employment and monetary
gain are excellent. Most Libra women make good prostitutes. The majority
of you Libras have a venereal disease.
SCORPIO
You are shrewd in business and cannot be trusted. You will achieve the
pinnacle or success because of your total lack of ethics. You have a
weakness for pasta and adultery. Most Scorpio people end up murdered.
SAGITTARIUS
You are optimistic and enthusiastic. You have a reckless tendency to
rely on luck since you lack talent. The majority of Sagittarians are
drunks or druggies. Poeple laugh at you a great deal.
CAPRICORN
You are conservative and afraid of taking risks. You don't do much of
anything and are lazy. There has never been a Capricorn of any
importance. Capricorns should avoid standing still too long, as a dog
might mistake you for a fire hydrant.
AQUARIUS
You have an inventive mind and are inclined to be progressive. You lie
a great deal. On the other hand, you tend to be careless and
impractical, causing you to make the same mistakes over and over again.
People think you are stupid.
PISCES
You have a vivid imagination, and often think you are being followed by
the CIA or FBI. You have minor influence over your associates and
people resent you for flaunting your power. You lack confidence and are
generally a coward. Pisces people do terrible things to small animals.
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