Member of the Internet Link
ExchanLook here for a new joke every
day!
(well, every day that I HEAR a good joke --why not send one?)
*********************************************************************
To Clone or Not to Clone?
As seen in the LA Times:
To clone or not to clone? That is the queston. Now that scientists have successfully duplicated a sheep, can human doubles be far behind? A look at what could be in store...
March: The United Nations adopts an emergency resolution banning former U.N. Secretary-General Boutros Boutros-Ghali from cloning himself into Boutros Boutros Boutros Boutros-Ghali Ghali.
April: In a major medical breakthrough, Dr. Jack Kevorkian assists with his own suicide.
>May: Walt Disney Co. files for bankruptcy after chairman Micheal Eisner admits he was "completely unaware, when promising a $96-million golden parachute ro Micheal Ovitz, that Ovitz had cloned himself 136 times."
June: O.J. Simpson appeals the $33-million civil trial verdict against him, claiming that the Bruno Magli shoes were worn by "my ugly-ass clone."
July: Saying his guests deserve "the best cup of coffee that $10,000 can buy," President Clinton sends an exact replica of himself to Colombia as a replacement for the late Juan Valdez.
August: Worried that cloning technology could attract the same caliber people who make Xerox copies of their butts, Congress enacts the Human Duplication Act of 1997. The measure makes it a felony, punishable by death, to clone the following individuals: Martha Stewart, Richard Simmons, Susan Powter, Rep. Sonny Bono (R-Palm Springs), Barney the Dinosaur, Dr. Ruth, Michael Bolton, Dennis Rodman, and the entire roster of the Dallass Cowboys.
September: Capitol Hill revisits its anti-cloning leglisation, deciding that "the grave national risk posed by reproducing Martha Sewart is out-weighed by the advantage of having her clones available as 'personal domestic servants' in every American household." Congress also declares it "no longer has a problem with term limits, heh, heh, if you get our drift."
October: A constitutional crisis looms when the Human Duplication Act is signed by President Clinton but vetoed by his genetic double.
November: Ousted Congressman Robert Dornan's charge of voter fraud in last fall's election gets an unexpected boost when a tearful Loretta Sanchez admits she had herself cloned 984 times, the exact margin of victory.
December: A CNN-Gallup-Harris-CBS-ABC poll reveals a nation deeply divided over the question of "whom would you most like to see cloned." Women, by a 2-to-1 margin, agree with the statement, "I would like to duplicate Sean Connery and train him to clean my house," whereas men, by an equally lopsided ratio, call that idea "a collosal waste of valuable scientific resources that could be put to much better use cloning some of those Sports Illustrated swimsuit-edition babes."
*********************************************************************
HEY! Don't forget the bookmark!
Lets talk about it! Click on the icon to get a free trial copy of web phone. Talk to anyone on the internet without long distance charges.
Got a joke you'd like to see here? Email to:jgoldman@monmouth.com subject: joke of the day
Click here for former jokes of the day
Over 21? Not easily offended? Dirty jokes pages
Work online with Netsong Servers. Click icon for
details.
Th-TH-Th-Thats all FOLKS! Come back tomorrow for more fun!
